I’m not one medication for quite a few reasons. One I have tried, in order of prescription, ablify( restless and feeling very hot), risperdal( leakage), zyperxa( barely helped and blood sugar went up), latuda( was on max dose, did nothing), Geodon,( worked at first than stopped working and muscle stiffness plus excessive blinking), invega(same as risperdal), seroquel(worked but barely, excessive sleepiness, and bad reaction to lexapro) I also gained 50 pounds. I have been diagnosed with psychotic disorder nos and had one episode of depression. My mom doesn’t want me on the typical antipsychotics. I’m off due to side effects and effectiveness. Yes I do have a psychosis and the reason I go inpatient is due to ideation of suicide and homicide, due to the voices.

DT, my pdoc doesn’t believe I’m bipolar. She says because I return to my baseline. I’m also us a lot of autocorrect, because I can’t seem to spell. I’m glad my words are lucid, it was a pain when I was rhyming and stuff, I still do it now mostly I get lost in it, but this isnt often. I hope that is not the case, that I’m at breaking point. Especially since it’s been almost 3 weeks now, and relapse can take up to 4 wks. But I do feel like I’m slipping. I feel tired but i feel to restless to sleep and it feels like my sleeping patterns have gotten mixed up. Like I feel more tired toward the afternoon rather than at midnight.

Willow, I guess I could try, but still get nervous about writing things. Like this post i had a lot of fear in posting it. I will try writing it down and giving it to therapist. I don’t see my pdoc until march. So maybe I can try and call or send it the mail. The only problem is she works at college clinic, it’s a separate building but the students go there to see how things are done. So I don’t think they have a mailbox. Yes you have confused me with someone else, but that is okay.
I don’t like IP because I get lots of paranoia, and last time the patients thought I was dangerous and didn’t want to talk or be near me. I was okay when with that, but they talked about me and told new patients this. I feel stressed every time I go, since my parents unknowingly to them, put pressure on me to do well in school. They didn’t live an advantaged life. So they want us to be our bests and live good childhoods, especially my mom. I don’t seem to get any benefit, since the pdoc there doesn’t listen to me. My new one wants me to go to a different hopsital if I do go inpatient.

Tecomsin, the last time I was in outpatient the pdoc, the same one form inpatient, suggested inpatient. Several times residential treatment centers have been brought up from many different professionals. My parents say no every time, and I am glad. But somehow it’s always brought up if I have troubles dealing with the psychosis. The quotes are because I last time I almost lost all insight and I feel that same thing happening now.

Hoping, unfortunately no med has given me relief. I’ve pretty much doubt meds now. The only one that helped me is my antidepressant, lexapro, for the depression. I have had good results that didn’t last long on, risperdal, geodon, and seroquel. On seroque I think it was because I slept until 12-1 pm, so I wasn’t awake much.

Thank you all for responding. I will try to get back on meds, but idk how it’ll go. Since barely any have helped before.