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freewill said:
I would like to ask.... what part of what you are doing... feels disassociative? because you are eliminating people out of your life.... or because you do not feel connected to anyone? or because you are living the "same old same old life day after day"....

perhaps... depressed???

so... to answer your question... in my opinion... I am not a T... pdoc....it sounds like you are trying to figure out the meaning of life.....

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Thank you everybody for your responses. I really needed them.

You are right I am depressed, but It won't go away. I am 25 and I have been depressed for at least a decade. Things change. and I change things and yet things are still the same. and lately I have been feeling extreme apathy. I am starting not to feel some emotions.

You are also right about the meaning of life. I think I figured a lot of it out, and it's distressing me. I am very angry and frustrated with society. I am starting to feel a high level of disdain for humans. And I feel like it's because I really care so deeply about society. I feel emotionally connected to everything and yet thrown away and so separate at the same time. These conflicts are seriously stressing my sanity.

I am starting to feel as though life here is just going to be depressing, even if I am successful or impoverished. I don't fit here. I feel like I am out of my element. I have been thinking about getting off the grid and moving into the mountains, but then I still feel like I am running from everyone. I daydream about flying to space and disappearing into dust. I fear that I will lose myself to this world. I am sorry that I posted in here but I have been slowly slipping away emotionally and physically and I thought I was disassociating.