Same here. I am new to the trade and still learning about my various mental issues, though I've had them for decades. Your post helped me understand what a BPD episode is, that I am having them myself, and that, depending on how bad it gets, it's hard to stay in control.

Well and on top of that I'm plagued by OCD intrusive thoughts, what if I <fill in anything socially unacceptable and out of character>, and then get caught up in repetetive thoughts of being a bad person. Losing control in BPD episodes then surely doesn't help me telling myself I'm not a bad person. Pretty vicious circle.