Its unfortunate you feel you can't discuss this with your partner on equal terms. It seems you feel any discussion would be manipulated by him to reinforce what he wants . To justify the outcome he seeks . No one can really comment on that with any confidence of understanding the dynamic between yourself and your partner . But there's many people in this world that are very skilled at manipulating a discussion in such a way to get what they want .
Seems a few tangibles there though . Your partner is unhappy/miserable in his current employment . That's not something to be dismissed and could be very detrimental long term . Your very unhappy at the prospect of having to uproot your life and move to a new location . That's also something that could cause you to be miserable in the future . That led onto you mentioning that you feel you have been/are being manipulated in other areas . Is there no way of an amicably compromise , where you lay your feelings on the table and work together for a solution ? that is not just cut and dried "stay in the job or leave town "