It went fine. I asked all the hard questions, teared up a bit. He says he thinks trying art therapy, like coloring or whatever during session might be good for me since its easier to talk about hard things when you are a bit distracted. He wants to work more on attachment issues and my self worth. He says if i choose not to continue, he wont be upset, he understands.... it's my choice.

He answered everything, which was good but what's annoyingly weird is I asked what is appropriate after therapy contact then.... he said texting, email, phone on occasions, or popping in for a visit.... all of that is exactly what I asked about and he said it was all ending at some point, so I'm confused but didn't wanna argue about the friend issue anymore.

He was casual and friendly, I laughed a bit but it felt different, I think the bond we spent all the time building wont be the same anymore. Not because of him but because of me. I'm struggling to see him the same. I can't help but constantly think of how I am replaceable.

One good thing was that I asked about the terms of therapy, cuz he has said before that short term is what most people do. Then I told him I asked because it makes me feel like he is trying to get rid of me and he said, well, my record is 3 years and that guy just decided to come back for a 4th year, so please don't feel that way. It was not my intention, I was merely saying on average its between 8-10 for most people.

I asked him if I'm fixable, he said he didn't think I was broken. It went ok but the only annoying part is that how to get past attachment to him is attaching to others so he wants me to meet other therapists etc there or asked if I would consider co therapy sessions or a presentation with someone who does therapy. That seemed weird to me. I highly doubt I'll attach to anyone else, I can't attach to women, I've never been able to and I struggle to make friends with guys let alone anything else but who knows

It went ok, I'll probably go back, try the art thing. See if it helps because I do struggle so much with emotions. Hard for me to talk about them.

He still hugged me so there's that. I thanked him for not giving up on me because I'm used to that from people.