I love him/I hate him. Most of us have been through it. I see it all the time in myself and on the forum and it has almost become comical do me. We have the most wonderful sessions with our therapists in the world and come home absolutely dripping in hearts and warmth, saying, "I am so connected." Next week T does something we don't like and all of a sudden there is that all familiar post with lots of %#@&#! and %#@&#! included in it. Wait a second-- didn't you just say you loved him? Some time passes-- Your therapist is your hero again.

So far this has been a two year, four month pattern with my T. I don't see the gray, I don't see the solid connection. Some may say that based on my posts I am incredibly connected to my T, but at this moment I feel like he is a ghost. There is no internalization. The other day we were on the phone and I said I felt no connection; he said he did feel one. I was so frustrated.

Is this going to be the cycle forever? I can't handle the constant love/hate feelings towards him. This is way too emotionally exhausting.

We had a phone session on Monday. I asked him if I could call him between Monday and Saturday if I was having any problems. He said that was fine, of course. I haven't called because I just don't give a %#@&#! right now. What's the point?

I don't love him or hate him right now. He's just a ghost.