Dear Blondie --

I don't know where this is coming from but I'm increasingly feeling like I'm breaking up with the motherland as a whole.

It seems I can't bear to keep up with what's happening there or listen to the music or answer anyone's simple questions or even think of anything related to the culture without feeling like I'll be felled by some unfathomable pain.

And, I don't know how to make you understand how ungrounded that's making me feel.

I fear you'll either stay silent or attempt to tie it back to my distancing myself from my family (which yes, could play a role but not all of it) or, somehow remind me of (something I know all too well) the violent misogyny there.

So yeah, I don't know if this is a cause or a symptom of my increasing sense of alone-ness.

I wish we could talk about how we talk (or don't) about this stuff.

- AY