Wow, I am such an independent woman that what I always accomplished was on my own especially when I work for something. In my independence I would just tell my H I'm prepared to do the black belt & I need to do it now whether you are prepared or not. You do it when you are ready, I need to do it when I'm ready.

But I have to admit, I will be finslly getting my divorce this year. I got fed up & left him 10 years ago after being married 33 years & moved across the country to a farm I bought in a town where I knew no one & now I have the best friends I ever had in my life. Sometimes when we chase dreams it doesnt turn out good....sometimes it does. I left where I had lived all 54 years of my life with no regret. I doubt I could leave here & not feel horrible. I NOW understand what it is to have roots. Sounds like your marriage has some dysfunction involved on both parts....maybe a good marriage counselor might help yiu both learn a more functional way of dealing with each other within your marriage.