Quote:
Originally Posted by key tones
I don’t know what’s happened to me.
I can relate to so many threads here on things hard to do—showering, cleaning/organizing, eating properly, exercising, making conversation, working! I’m able to do these things, I can. It’s just harder than it used to be. Everything. Driving. Walking. I even put my credit cards on autopay (all my other bills were already). I barely care about whether the bills are correct. I barely care about anything.
What has happened to me.
Did my bipolar disorder get worse?
Is it because I got put on lithium? Is it the gabapentin? Or both?
I don’t think I feel depressed. I have anxiety, but I always have had that. If anything, it’s better. Maybe it’s the reduction in anxiety. Maybe the anxiety was my motivation. I don’t know.
I know you guys can’t tell me. I’m whining I guess.
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in my experience, it's all about what's important, and what needs doing.
showering and eating healthily are difficult- showering because I live alone and it doesn't really matter if I shower or not (I mean I never feel better for having one, and my body is so ugly anyway), it's like why do it?
eating healthy's the same... it's like more along the lines of- well my binge eating's going to kill me anyway, and my weight is past fixing, why bother?
with regards to bills and paying rent, well I don't think I'm one to talk... that's why I got evicted from my old property- I was in hospital and couldn't pay anyway, and even when I can it's like.. why spend it on bills, I can buy stuff on amazon, but I also know I have to do it eventually
like I know I'm moving on the 26th, so have to prepare for that- and I try and do the things I need to prepare myself for that as soon as possible, or the anxiety creeps in about not having done it.
anything else can wait
going back to something like showering.. I know I have to do it eventually, but it's not like top of my list, so it can wait until I can be bothered