I finally understand not ever being truly alone. We're all in this thing called Life and no matter how hard we try, we're not going to be alone. I know I'm not the only one that had this sort of thing happen. I also know it caused a certain kind of dysfunction for me, desensitized. I know it triggered my suicidality. I know it's cost me large parts of my life. I know it's caused some of my trust issues. I now wonder if it caused my issues between me and my parents, because they didn't know how to handle a seven year old suicidal son. I don't think that could be my fault entirely because they didn't handle so much if their job correctly. I'm spiraling, but the exercise is helping slow it down