Quote:
Originally Posted by TishaBuv
You are a survivor and strong. I think it’s good to let it out and confront those emotions. Doing it carefully with a t is good, if it works for you. Therapy didn’t work for me, so I vented on here, and feel much better for it. I feel like I am in the here and now instead of dwelling in the past that was consuming me.
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I don't see my t until Tuesday, and then my pdoc right after. My insides keep making all kinds of noises I don't like but I think it's the antibiotics I'm on.
Why did I keep letting it happen? I was threatened several ways. "I'll kill you." "Nobody will be your friend." "I'll tell everyone you like doing it and they'll all laugh at you and pick on you."
Guess what? I'm still alive. I don't have any close RL friends. Nobody knows about it and they laughed at me and picked on me anyway.
Where's the power in the threats, other than now I have to tell someone to be able to work past it? I want them all to be dealt with, but there's no dealing that would be justice, is there? Everyone was a young minor at the time, the oldest 12, and they'd probably all get together and convince the world it happened another way or didn't happen.
I don't need to convince anyone it happened. I need to deal with it in a healthy manner. Anyone got any? I'll take any and all suggestions seriously. I simply cannot see past it on my own and don't know what really works for anyone. I looked at some sites, but they're all just psychobabble and no real world info. Right now it's spinning in my head and I think I might vomit. I'm going to eat some bread to see it if helps settle.