Quote:
Originally Posted by confused_77
the thing is ideally I dont want bounderies. I want to be assured its ok to write. as explained before I did mention it many many times in emails to her even
in an similar way to what you suggested but always explain that she needs to bring it up in a session if it's not OK as i am too embarrassed about it. she never does so technically when i ask her 'bring it up if it's not OK' and she doesn't it implies she is ok. but then she knows how much i stress over it so why not say 'its ok'
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She’s a grownup responsible for her own boundary. She knows what you’ve asked her to do, to communicate with you if it gets not ok. It can be an enormous leap of trust to believe that she’s simply ok with the emails. Hugs.
Perhaps this issue could open the door to a broader discussion about asking for what you need: You need to hear “It’s okay.” It sounds to me like you may want some help/discussion about finding the edges, defining the boundary more clearly. Maybe you can approach the discussion in that light?
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Since you cannot do good to all, you are to pay special attention to those who, by accidents of time, or place, or circumstance, are brought into closer connection with you. (St. Augustine)
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