I've been there too. I was just referring to the times when I was needy for a relationship and what I think was driving that. Personally, black and white thinking drives a lot of my difficulties so I try to cancel it out by looking at things more flexibly and realizing that my mood will change. Unfortunately I am mostly a hermit when I am not delusional now. I'm not saying my way is the right way just trying to empathize and share.