I have to admit, the flat feeling has left me empty. I hated it for a long time, especially since I lost my connection to my spirituality.

One thing that I have noticed is that, I can ACTIVELY change the way I feel and think by doing things that bring me joy, (having a luxurious shower, writing, and painting). You can pull yourself out of the flat feeling if you give yourself a little joy.

My medication does what its supposed to, but I still experience bursts of mania, especailly when trying to sleep at night. I won't ask for a med increase though, I'd like to retain what's left of my humanity and emotion, so I will just have to work through the spikes and dips in feelings, just as long as I don't fly completely out of control.