I use a wide range of methods/tools due to disassociation if things got too emotional for me. Over time, I have been able to use these other things and stay connected. At the beginning very little would work. I would caution about emailing it to your T ahead of time if not knowing how your T would respond could cause more anxiety. I ran into this problem so I rarely bring up a stressful topic initial through email.
Some methods I use:
- forms of communication
- writing it out and having her read it in session
- writing it out and me read it in session
- writing about elements of it in my journal that she reads between sessions
- directly stating that I have something I am uncomfortable talking about
- talking about talking about it
- Alternative ways to bring up topic
- picture books
- songs
- articles
- sections from books
- movie/video clip
- Somatic/grounding
- deep breaths
- tactile stimulation - blanket, drawing/tracing lines, petting something
- sitting on floor
- focus my eyes on a specific item while I talk
- clasping my hands
- repeating specific words that have meaning to me/her
- Distraction
- coloring
- doing puzzles (100 piece seem to be doable within an hour)
- doing games or playing with toys
- spinning a ball
Other methods I heard of others using:
- Writing out what you want to say in the moment
- tossing ball back and forth
At some point you do just have to go for it and allow your emotions to do whatever they are going to do. I learnt that my T can handle my disassociation, and through exposing myself to this level of anxiety and having my T respond consistently every time with compassion, understanding, caring, and empathy; I learnt my world would not fall apart to talk about these things. I still use all of these methods at different times, I no longer dissociate to the point that I am completely gone. I can let her know when I am losing touch and we can ground before it is too late. She has also learnt to read signs of problems and can call me back if she feels I have started to go too far away.
ETA: yes, it is much more helpful if my T participates in the actions with me.