Thread: "Theraperized"
View Single Post
 
Old Feb 04, 2018, 07:04 AM
MoxieDoxie's Avatar
MoxieDoxie MoxieDoxie is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Jul 2013
Location: United States
Posts: 2,741
Quote:
Originally Posted by mostlylurking View Post
I don't know how much trauma you have suffered, but this does not seem safe to me. It seems potentially very destabilizing. I suppose I would be classified as a resistant client but I would refuse to do what he asked you to do, flat out. I'm sorry it was such a rough session and I hope you're doing okay with those memories.

For me, one of the big things therapy has taught me is that there's a huge difference between knowing something cognitively and feeling the truth of it emotionally. I'm someone who has always intellectualized many things as a defense mechanism (as in: I refuse to feel feelings about this, I'll just analyze it to shreds instead). It turns out that all the analysis and intellect and reading in the world can leave the emotional pain just sitting there like boulders in a river, unmoved.

I honestly think the most helpful thing in therapy was that when I would explain to my T why I was picked on, ostracized, etc (I was bullied at school in certain years) he sat there quietly refusing to agree with me. Eventually because he seemed to refuse to see my child self as horrible and disgusting no matter how much I explained it, I started to think, hmm, maybe I wasn't actually that bad, maybe some people are just cruel? Trust me, I'd really rather that the answers had come out of books on therapeutic models, or better still, from research papers, but it wasn't that. It was something that took time and happened mostly non-verbally I think. For me -- and I know there are those here that dislike this idea pretty vehemently -- but for me I think the therapeutic relationship is where the healing occurred. So I don't think that having "already read all the books," so to speak, is any cause for losing hope.
Now why couldn't the damn therapists explain it like this to me? It make so much damn sense and sure does resonate with me.

Well as for the trauma work in EMDR you have to be willing to do the work and be ok with feeling worse for a couple of days afterwards. I was warned about weird vivid dreams and EMDR would be done around the dreams also. I have only seen him twice and I do not have a connection with him yet. If he is going to have to make an effort and not just forget I exist between sessions.
__________________
When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors.
Hugs from:
Elio, WarmFuzzySocks
Thanks for this!
LonesomeTonight