A couple of things that have helped me through these types of feelings are...
- when I get to the place where I won't be seeing T any more or not as frequent and someone has "replaced" me. I won't be needing/wanting her as much and to some degree she will have been "replaced" as well. Until then, I can keep seeing her. I do plan on seeing her at some frequency for the rest of my life, or until she retires, that is one way I deal with the concept of therapy ending. For me, I don't see it ever ending; just getting less frequent.
- I am not just a paycheck and I know this because of how she is with me when she is not getting paid for things (between session contacts, visiting me at the hospital), this does come up for me from time to time. I have to remember that she doesn't have to offer between session contacts or video visits when she is away from the office.
- I also am "pretending" on a level, I suspend my disbelief for periods of time that allow me to access emotions that I would not otherwise be able to access, by fully embracing my transference
- I remember that T is what I need/make of her right now. I need T to play this role in my life because, hopefully/eventually I'll have friends but there are not that many T's that I will be able to connect with on this level, it would be harder to find another T and have her as my friend.
- I get something from T that her friends and family probably don't... that is the one-sideness of the relationship. During my time with her, she is totally and completely focused on me and my experience (s). With friendships that is not the case. I know if I was to see her much outside the office, I would see other sides of her that would result in me not being able to do the work I am doing with her.

Is my T pretending? Yes, no, maybe? I think it is different than pretending. I think a good T is being genuine in their responses and interactions with their clients. I do believe that we do not see all the parts of a T, and honestly I don't think it is good if we would. So, from that perspective, it is compartmentalized for our T's. Does that make it less than real? I tend to believe it is that we see a part of the real T, just not all of the real T.

Yes, I have found it very difficult when the therapeutic frame has been punctured. I go through my own processing of it until I have patched (the image of fixing a bicycle's tire comes to mind). Once patched, often times I am able to dig deeper into something. Sometimes though it takes a while to find the hole, or to get it patched well enough that it doesn't just shred up the tire.

BTW - I am replaceable is a core belief for me. I get how painful it is to believe and feel like one is replaceable. The truth is, there is only one you. You are unique not only because we each are unique, but also because we have a unique set of experiences and histories. You are the only one with your story. He will not hear another story just like yours - sure maybe similar, never exactly the same story as yours with the way (struggles and strengths displayed) you tell your story.