Thanks for sharing your dilemma. I'm sorry you living under such difficult circumstances. I don't know as there is a lot I can suggest here. From what you wrote it sounds as though you are struggling with a huge load of depression. Plus, I would surmise that your circumstances have conspired to make it increasingly difficult for you to be out-&-about in public? Just a guess...

Digging yourself out from all of this is going to be a long uphill battle, I'm afraid. I doubt there's likely to be any way around it. And I think, realistically, you're going to need help with this. Typically that kind of help would be provided by a counselor or mental health therapist & possibly a psychiatrist, if it is determined antidepressant medications are needed. I recall you mentioned you haven't worked in over a year-&-a-half though. So I presume you don't have health insurance. And assuming that is the case, that certainly does limit your options.

You didn't mention the type of area you live in (urban, small town, rural.) If you live in a small town or in a rural area, that further limits your options. If you're in a more urban area, perhaps there might be some free or income-adjusted mental health services you could access. There could, perhaps, also be some women's support organizations that could be of assistance. But, of course, the first thing you're going to have to do is to figure out what might be available & then begin reaching out for the help you need.

In some way or other, my opinion at least would be that you're going to have to come up with a step-by-step plan for how you're going to dig your way out of your present circumstances. I'm quite sure this just sounds like a daunting process. But, at least from my perspective, it's the only way. There's simply no magic solution. We here on PC can be as supportive as possible. (There can be a lot of support available here on PC if you post your own threads frequently as well as reply to other members' posts.) However that only goes so far. Ultimately, the changes you both need & want to make in your life have to be made in the real world, so to speak. (I doubt I'm telling you anything you don't already know.) And sadly, from what you wrote, it doesn't sound as though you're likely to get much in the way of help from your family... unless you could perhaps prevail on your mother to help & support you.

Anyway... with all of that written... here are links to some articles from PsychCentral's archives on the subject of healing from depression. Perhaps some of the information in them can be of help:

https://psychcentral.com/disorders/depression/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/a-curre...ic-depression/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/advice-...ic-depression/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/strateg...ng-depression/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/9-step...ion-naturally/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/depress...tive-thoughts/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/10-tip...-broken-heart/