(((((( Nightdream )))))))))

All this depression, ADD, and who knows what else they are going to tell me next.. ( to tell the truth I would bet $100 I am bi polar .. it runs in the family) I am scared to death to open up here or with a T.

I have been in sever depression for the last mth or so. Depression this bad is new for me, I am usually on a high (I think to high for most people, Manic?), I have hit a low in my life that has never been this bad. Now, for the last few days.. I am starting to feel like myself again.. going back up hill?!?!? The high?!?!?!

Then I think, am I "Crazy"? am I going back to "normal" or "feeling good"? Should I just stop talking and all this will go away? Is the world really backwards and I am the "normal one"? Is it the T that is messing me up? I was happy before all this.. what was so "wrong" with me.

Then I think about my low.. Damn, I do have some issues!! I have some self esteem issues, failure issues, how I view myself! Was it just the depression? Am I overlooking it now?

How do you find the happy medium? How much do you give yourself to others with out them "judging" you? I don't know today.. But I do feel your pain!

Kathy