I'm sorry this happened to you. I sometimes think, that my T is overwhelmed by me as well. He has had people attach and been ok with handling it but I'm not sure he is used to very attached with no outside support. Reading your story made me very sad, I hate when things like this happen and mess with our heads even more.

I personally would not pick another T, but that's due to my huge trust issues... I'd rather quit all together but it might be an ok option for you, at least she is willing to keep in touch through it and see you again later

Either choice has it downside, I hope you think it over and do what's best for you