charlie, you are so descriptive in your writing. it's so interesting to read and keeps me "locked in", such as a good book does.
i can relate with you so much as to where you're at in your life. i, on my own, was able to adknowledge, name and then eliminate 99% of my panic. i deal with continual anxiety, but it almost never reaches the point of panic any longer. that's a great relief to life.
however, there are other issues where i do not have that same control. i don't have the capability. i have at least gotten to the point of naming it for what it is and i think , when in therapy, that is half the battle. i'm working with t to gain the remaining control over selves and, in the long run, happiness.
i so wish the same for you. i can understand that "going home" doesn't necessary mean "going to safety and almost bliss". i have no home to go back to. i was a military brat and we lived all over the country. you brought a new light to something i'd felt i'd always missed out on. with the childhood i had, if there was one certain place that i could go back to, i wouldn't want to. i don't think i'll ever miss what i considered i never had again...for that reason.
i hope you're well today and look forward to hearing from you soon. i think you're a most gifted person.
kd
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