Freewill, I'm so sorry for your pain and your loss.

Print your post above out and send it to your friends. Send it to your son. It frustrates me because I don't know where you live, cannot get to you and help you.

It sounds like her family is weak, as you say you are weak. Or, if not weak, helpless. You tried to help but were rejected by your friend; can you imagine being her husband, sons and daughter?

If your friends did offer the help you say you want, would you take it? If you would, then by all means, give them a copy of this so they have no excuse, so they know they will not be rejected or hurt, snarled at for asking, to them, "innocent" questions "Did you eat today" that it is so easy to twist into thinking friends are "checking up on" and trying to control one.

It seems like such a two-edged sword.