Hope, you have done what you can for now. I would step back and try to calm yourself. What's done is done. It is now up to him. I would call the office tomorrow to see if you are still on the schedule for your appointment and try to attend if so. If not, remember that regardless of how many times you have "quit" therapy through email before, an ethical therapist is not supposed to try to get you to stay in therapy against your will. If you state you are quitting they need to take you at your word. I know this sucks. I am constantly wanting to quit and would love for my therapist to beg for me to stay. Maybe that would convince me to stick it out, but I also have to accept the fact that he is doing his job by reminding me that I can quit at any time. I kind of understand this concept in that to be successful, a client needs to be invested and really want to change and accept their therapists help. If they begged us to stay many people would attend simply to please the therapist and this would not necessarily motive the client to work on their own problems. Therapy has to be wanted the most by the client, as they are the ones doing the most work. In the end, that is why I stay because I want to get better.

You state you regret ever trusting him. I don't see what he has done to lose your trust. Regardless of the outcome from this, please remember while it is acceptable to ask, no medical professional that works with you as a client can maintain ethical boundaries and also be your friend. Know that going into the relationship. If you can accept that fact I think you will eliminate a lot of distress and heartbreak in the future. Don't take it as rejection, it has nothing to do with you. They are simply doing their job. Even after you quit being their client, it is a boundary any good professional should uphold. This type of question seems to be a repeat source of grief for many people on this board who are not prepared to accept their professional's answer.

I know you are struggling Hope, and I wish you the best. It may be helpful to read through you old posts and see if there are any patterns that you can recognize. Try your best to learn from the past. You are a very intelligent woman and you have what you need to succeed inside yourself. Dig deep for it.