I really don’t think I can do this. This is my third day back at work. I’ve been sick with anxiety since Thursday, my first day back. It was as bad as I imagined. I think it’s mostly in my head. I can’t explain it. But I know nothing. I try so hard to understand and then when it comes down to I I’m wrong. I’m telling the kids the wrong things. Because I think I know, and then my co teacher says something different. I ****ing hate it. Im literally sick. Like my stomach is completely ****ed up. I had a good day on Saturday because I was away from work but Sunday I just knew work was coming so I was anxious all day. I feel like I’m dying. Im getting chest pains and I get afraid something is really wrong with my heart but I’m pretty sure it’s just anxiety.

I don’t know what to do. I have my lavender essential oil in my diffuser necklace, that helps a little. My weighted blanket at night helps. Taking a hot shower (though it is difficult) helps. But I’m still severely anxious all day until I leave work, then I’m ok for a couple of hours but it ramps up at bedtime again bc I’m thinking about work the next day.

I don’t know what to do, I need the money but I can’t live like this.