Thank you guys for your support

Even though there are more to life than relationships, & my mother keeps telling me that, but I don't know, I still feel that I have enormous passion for intimacy & relationship. I don't know how other people may endure living their whole lives without love, but for me, I just can't.

I'm thinking I may go to a orphanage & spend time with children there, perhaps directing my affections toward children will be fulfilling. But I still desire to bear a child of my own, & I don't know how I'm going to get the chance for this!

I think I have reached self-integration by learning about cosmic evolution, & knowing my purpose in life. But still, the fact that it'd be a very tiny chance to find a man here who's "cosmic oriented", rather than traditional or religious, & who'd accept me with all my past & what I've gone through, is very tiny!

Still, I need to deal with my psychological problems as well, which exacerbate my loneliness & depression, & limit my capacity to deal wisely with my loneliness. But not being able to afford a psychotherapist is another huge problem!