Hello nature: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit. May I suggest you introduce yourself over on PC's New Member Introductions forum? Here's a link:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/new-...introductions/

Actually I have a lot of questions too regarding what my early life experiences must have been & how they contributed to the problems I've had pretty-much all of my life... some similar to those you describe. (And I'm an older person now. So I've had a lot of years to ruminate over them.) In my case, I'm completely confident I was never sexually abused. So that's not even a consideration. But something happened. In my case though, I'll never know what it was. It all just is what it is... (or was what it was.)

At 18 I believe you're still young enough to, hopefully, figure a lot of this out & go on to live a happy, healthy life. So I think it's great you're planning to start therapy! Just keep in mind that, sometimes, it can take a while to find the right therapist for you. Not every therapist works well with every client. So, if the first T you see doesn't seem to be a good fit, don't give up. Try others. Granted the process can be a bit of a pain. But, if you can find someone you feel comfortable with, it can be a good experience!

There's a lot of support that can be available here on PC. The more you post, & reply to other members' posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are the chat rooms where you'll be able to interact with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) So please keep posting!