Hi all- long time lurker, infrequent poster. I have BP I with a diagnosis from Spring 2014 after a hospitalization due to psychosis. I have gotten my condition pretty manageable - I haven’t had a significant episode since Spring 2015. But I work a very stressful job, typically 7 days a week. In some respects I feel my bipolar is under control (because I have not had an episode recently) but I know in reality I suffer a lot from comorbid anxiety or sometimes get emotional, usually when I get a lot of bad news. I briefly considered picking up CBT and also pursued therapy. Inspired by the forums here, I went on a ketogenic diet that helped a lot to get me more stable (I used to self medicate with sugar).

Here’s the thing: I have been doing okay but have never been med compliant (probably not since Summer 2014). I was prescribed olanzapine 15mg at the hospital and thought it was too much. My job requires an agile brain and I didn’t want the brain fog. I still see a psychiatrist every month and he is pretty happy with me because he doesn’t have any idea. And if things do seem offkilter I will take probably half an olanzapine pill prn (maybe once every month or two).

I agree this isn’t a good path. Lately I have been thinking maybe the brain fog is worth it if I felt anxious less or had more narrow range of emotions. But at the same time I see lots of things on the internet that indicate the brain fog and weight gain are significant issues. I’ve also been around enough to know meds alone cannot fix everything. Guess I am just interested in any coping tips, advice, or otherwise that people might have.

I do know this long without meds is foolish. When I am stable and even keel on my own, it feels good. But I know that’s foolish. Thanks!