I don't think advising you not to email will work.
To an extent, we set ourselves up for rejection (though not replying isn't really rejection per se)

Then when we've got that feeling of "told you so" we're back in our familiar terrority.
This kinds stuff takes years to resolve. There is no quick fix.we get to repeat these feelings over and over. Hopefully if you have a competent T your work through it. If not, your flounder like this for ever.