His email is exactly what most of us have told you. As I said, try to find a friend if you don't have one, even an online friend, to talk to when he isn't there or journal your thoughts, he is seemingly changing email boundaries, and to me that's great.

He's right, he can't be your or anyone else's world, I don't have support outside my T either except here and a few online friends, so you need to find any way to cope and not keep doing this.

"I’m pathetic. My life means nothing and doesn’t matter." Just because he can't do what you want, when you demand it does not mean that. He needs boundaries and a life just as anyone else does. The fact that he took the time to email you after all this drama is something, I am sure not every T would have, in fact, some may even have terminated you, so be glad for that... but please stop being so impulsive like this, the only way to move forward, even with him in your life is to learn ways to cope besides email him a bunch.

It's hard, it sucks but it is the reality of this type of situation.