I can relate (except for the routine sleep pattern). I'm glad you anticipate the ebbs & flows of your moods; if nothing else, knowing I have BP reminds me that moods come and go - that's just the way things are for us. Even if I fantasize about sui while depressed, I have faith that the horrible depression will go away at some point; it keeps me in check. My pdoc monitors my moods & makes adjustments accordingly. When depressed, he'll give me a small dose of AD (monitoring me closely) & increases my abilify (which, in addition to being an AP, enhances the effect of the AD). When my mood turns, he'll eliminate the AD & descrease the abilify to a level that won't aggravate my shaking.

I'm sorry you're sinking into the depths again but, again, having BP disorder should remind us that the worm will turn at some point. I know depression ain't fun, but try to carry on with your daily routines (I know...easier said than done). Good luck.