I work full time and I guess I can't really complain about my job. They are flexible with my hours and I get to work from home 1 day a week. Trying to manage a full time job with this disorder is tough as hell, but I get by.

I work all week waiting for the weekend, and then I spend most of the weekend wishing I was at work. Work is sometimes my escape from my real stress. I don't usually get too upset or worked up by my job as I don't care deeply for my co-workers. Their opinion means relatively little to me which is why it can be an escape.

The real issue for me is my home.
I have 2 kids and a great wife who is as supporting as she can be. I'm not the easiest person to deal with and I get that. Our oldest has Bipolar also (which I sometimes feel is my fault since it is genetic) and OCD. This causes a lot of tension at home as he's 17 and really difficult to deal with. On Friday, he was in a bad place, and was basically looking for trouble. He was being verbally abusive towards his mother so I came into the room. He went in to attack mode and hit me. I took him to the ground and held him there until he calmed (relatively speaking).

What happens then is I get partially blamed for 'making the situation worse'. I don't know what I'm supposed to do in that situation. Do I ignore the fact that my 17 year old son is shouting obscenities at his mother and pushing her? I don't know what is the right thing to do (I just know it's not what I'm doing )

After the fight, my son decided to leave the house (it was 20 degrees f outside, and he left without a coat). My wife insisted we go look for him which was probably a good idea, but he was essentially making fun of us because we went looking for him and wouldn't tell us where he was. He finally agreed to come home if my wife picked him up by herself without me. I get the **** because I don't give in and pander to him.

It's so damn frustrating because no matter how hard I try, or what I do, I always seem to be the bad guy. I have enough trouble keeping myself somewhat well and on track (I have Bipolar I disorder) without all of this other drama. I try to get him help. Took him to a very good OCD clinic in our city. After 1 session, he decided he had cured himself and won't go back. This is an intensive outpatient program which has a waiting list. I can't force him to go...how do you drag a 17 year old boy into a car and make him do anything.

I'm really frustrated and nearing the end of my rope. I end up depressed and angry. Hating everyone I see. Self-injuring. I have no solid coping mechanisms.

Anyway, if you're still reading, thanks for the therapy session.