What a tough situation. While bipolar has genetic components, it's important to remember that a significant percentage of people have no family history and still get diagnosed with it. How old is your second child?

The important thing is to be aligned with your wife on how to handle the 17 year old. One thing that may help- is remind your wife that you too have the illness but you have been able to work and be a part of your family. Along the way, you've learned to take accountability and made an active decision to accept that you are bipolar. It doesn't sound like your son has made it to the acceptance stage just yet.

So what can you do? You've done an admirable job in trying to locate help and resources for your son. What is your son passionate about? How does he see his future? Have you and your wife talked about what will happen when he becomes an adult?

Your struggle with not enjoying weekends really reminds me of when I had bipolar states where I couldn't shift to a relaxation mode- I was just trapped in my work persona. What helped me was to carve out some time each weekend where I had some me time, got to do something that my daughter wanted, catch up with friends, and let myself sleep in.