I am sorry you are going through this, i totally understand where you're coming from. You're not a failure! Nothing about this is your fault, and you know that deep down.

Has your husband ever been open to learning details about BP at all? Have you offered him materials to read or asked him to try? I think it is important for our significant others to gain at least a basic understanding of what we are going through, even though trying to describe how we feel to them and making them understand is like explaining color to a blind person.

You got this.