I think sometimes talking with an opposite sex T can give you an opportunity to ask questions and hear the other side. I like all the ideas suggested. I think you can also say, "this is hard for me so if you can help me by asking questions too."
******Possible trigger********
I'm in the middle of some of these discussions myself right now. Today my T told me, "not all guys just want to get laid. A lot do, but some want to wait a bit and care about their partner first. So it is OK for you to go slow and tell them they'll have to wait until you are ready." I said, "even if they are clearly turned on and hoping?" He said, "a hard on doesn't create an obligation on your part." OK then.

I've found as difficult as the conversations can be, they usually make me feel closer to my T.