i now want to self injure and kill myself this has happened before when i have meditated my husband have gave me meds to calm me down but its not working i wanted to sleep but now am too scared to i think my abusers are going to come and attack me and my husband even though they have been dead for years feel very triggered and upset unsure if this is the right forum to post this i wanted an early night but now am on edge too upset to sleep unsure if this is part of who i am but i dont think me meditating is a good idea it makes me ill