I have a similar issue that other people are describing in which suicidal thoughts come automatically into my head when I feel depressed. I don't feel compelled to act on them, but it's just a thought that intrudes into my head sometimes. I have tried changing my own thoughts consciously. For example, say an image of me hurting myself comes into my head. Instead of visualizing myself going through with it, I visualize myself putting things away and doing something else. I don't always do that, but it seems like a positive way of thinking, so maybe I should try harder to change my own negative thought patterns. I don't have major depression, and I don't take antidepressants, but I have feelings of isolation, loneliness, anxiety and hopelessness sometimes. Sometimes when I drink, I get so hungover that I'm totally dysfunctional the next day. I try to take it easy on myself and not get down on myself for not doing enough. Just doing something is more than nothing. Even just lying in bed and doing nothing is not doing any harm. I try to tell myself things that are optimistic, because I know that I am an awesome person, but it's just hard to motivate myself sometimes.