I saw the same T for 6 years. He retired so I had to find a new one.

Anyways “ Brian” who I have now seen twice. I’m not sure he has a personality?!?!?!?!

First session I kinda did a word vomit and just dumped out a brief summary of me and why I need ptsd work now as in very soon. He didn’t really explain to me his particular T ways , like common sense stuff as in HIS boundaries for T with him. Something that typically always is discussed first visit. But anyway.

Yesterday right off the bat I apologized for my word vomit and that I would like to understand his boundaries and what types of ptsd work he does/ offer. He basically deflected my questions. Hu? Oooookay.

He asked some random basic questions. Do I have support from my husband ? Yes .. Does your PCP offer support? Yes. Why have you needed IP in the past ? Suicidal stuff and Chronic Pain is always a part of that.. he had no working knowledge ( I understand that most people are clueless) of Fibro so I gave him a quick summary.

Blah blah a few more questions.

I must add that I am seeing him at a difference office than my old T .... but he has access to all my history , my old T made a full of facts summary of our 6 years together. ( He gave me a copy and it is one and a half pages with lots of paragraphs to make it a easy read) before I left the state. So this guy should not be totally clueless. I do get he wants to hear some if it from me.

But I was blunt first ( I’m always blunt) visit I need help on how to get past my PTSD.

Anyway I’m willing to give him 3 months to either help me process the event or not.

I got home and gave my husband a quick rundown. His opinion is that I probably scare the guy since I am so use to goal oriented T , I don’t know how else to do therapy, I don’t want to just chitchat. Maybe he’s not use to having someone so blunt? Someone that actually wants to deal with an actual problem , this is a mental county health office. So they get a good portion of people being judge ordered T and I’m thinking many don’t actual what to help themselves.

Anyway ...... I know that there will never be another “ Richard “ but maybe I just expect to much ?

Anyway 29 weeks and it’s still like it happened yesterday and nightmares every single night. I also turn a corner in the house and for a second I swear I see her standing in the kitchen or living room etc... it makes me shake with rage.

I’m really very angry at myself that I can’t find a way to get passed this myself.

Sorry for the word vomit