I mostly just lurk, LT, so I totally think you should take what I’m saying with a grain of salt, but you might consider someone with analytic training. Likely they will be able to maintain better boundaries (which will help you feel safer), AND you’ll get to actually work through the ways you repeat your past in the present. Not just intellectually, but from the here and now, all feelings attached manner of psychoanalytic psychotherapy. It will probably be really hard and really painful and really intense but probably you are open enough and strong enough to do that kind of work. Analytically trained therapists have to undergo their own high intensity treatment, and from what I’ve read and experienced, seem to be more up for the task of working through strong transference v