T,
I'm telling you everything that I know. I failed to disclose the nature of his occupation, true. I am afraid that now you won't believe me about what I told you about him. I wouldn't fabricate allegations to destroy someone's reputation. I am shocked how grounded I am about this issue, wondering if you think that because I omitted some not important information that this means that I am telling falsehood about what I've told you. I have told the truth. I'm trying to last through this intense anxiety. You said something and within that something you kind of asked if I was telling you everything. I absolutely am telling you what I know. You told me that you think I made an extra appt. due to all of the information in my head, true. The thing is, that this information seemed all so important last week, and it feels trite right now. It feels like, so ****ing what. We talked about jealousy and I stated it as a matter of fact. I am struggling with labeling myself with such a loaded emotion as it has a negative connotation. When I was a child, I feel like because I was a girl that I was unimportant. I don't know how I am going to make it through tomorrow. This again feels like something I have to tell you, and tomorrow, I will probably wonder what the hell my problem was. I don't get it. I feel like I am trying to get at something and I just want to put it into words. I don't want to go into detail here. I worry that I was needy back then and that everything is my fault. I feel ashamed about who I was I don't know if all of this is something of importance or if it is just nothing and I am just making a big deal out of it. I am trying the best that I can, I am trusting you with these vulnerable things. I don't know what you are thinking. I don't know if I am frustrating you, if you have an idea of what my issue is but I don't.

I have a good grasp on the issue I am having, and I hope it makes sense to you. I hope you understand what I am saying because that is what I need.