I think of attachment a bit differently, in terms of the therapist providing a secure base, like a safe haven that provides comfort and safety when things feel scary. For me, my attachment to my therapist becomes a mechanism by which she and I can see how I am in relationships and what sorts of feelings come up for me. This makes it possible for us to talk about them and work through them. Often I relate to her in the same ways I relate to other people. The feelings are real, even if they only get expressed inside the therapy room. But the feelings are also really, really intense because they get at the core of how I feel about myself and others (much of it hearkening back to my early history with my family). I don't actually want a real-life relationship with my T because then she wouldn't be my T anymore, but I do feel very strongly about her nonetheless. I probably idealize her a little bit, but I recognize her weaknesses and foibles too. I think the way I feel about her right now is probably similar to how most kids feel about their mothers, but I don't expect to feel this way forever.

I have had therapists that I liked working with but didn't have particularly intense feelings about. I sometimes got useful bits of advice or ways to shift my thinking from talking with them, but I ultimately wasn't able to make much progress. So for my particular circumstances, I am responding better to a closer, more intense connection right now, even though it is overwhelming sometimes.