Hope, please consider doing things differently. Stop the unhealthy patterns. Talk to your T about these patterns. You're a good person and deserve to be happy, but you're going about it the wrong way. It seems that you have a lot of issues with men. If you stick with this T, maybe try making a female friend? And if you don't stick with this T, please try a female T.

It's just frustrating (my problem, not yours) that we can see these cycles/patterns and when we give you suggestions, you completely ignore them. Then you start the cycle again. You start putting yourself down. You don't need to do that in order to get reassurance.

I hope you take in what people say. They're only trying to help. And I hope you know that people here do care. We wouldn't be keeping up with you and responding to you if we didn't care.