Annie, I also think it makes a lot of sense that you're focusing a bit intensely on your T right now. You're stressed and away in another country without your usual supports. It seems perfectly natural for you to have urges to connect with somebody who has been so kind and supportive to you, even if the only way you can make that happen is by looking at her stuff online. I know it seems obsessive, but it sounds like you're very much in touch with reality about the nature of your relationship with her, so I don't think any of this is concerning.