hi, and welcome to the forum

let me say this: none of us can actually diagnose you. we're all just like you, looking for support- not professionals.

when you were diagnosed a panic attack, did you mention what you wrote here about the mood?. if not, do you think that's something you could do?

honestly, any number of things could be wrong- and the best advice is to keep seeing professionals about it, keep talking to them, and see what they say.

the gagging could be anything too. it could be because of anxiety (I know I gag when I'm anxious), it could be due to a med you're on, it could be something as simple as not liking the food, or the prospect that's coming up.

gagging can be triggered by smells too

is their a smell you don't like (maybe eggs), that you smell in those situations that triggers it?

can you smell the food from the kitchen from the bathroom area?

one of the things that causes my depression sometimes is knowing that I've wasted so much of my life, and I could have done so much more

like you, I spent a lot of time on the computer, listening to music, watching TV... could that be a factor?

could it be that in your heart you know you want to do more, and you want to do something diffrent, but in reality you don't know what, or what, if anything, will give you that happyness?

good luck and keep posting here

SS