I was obsessed with T in the beginning (15yrs ago)
The first break she took nearly killed me. I was walking around in so much pain missing her. Couldn't do anything without her in mind.
The time between sessions, was just as bad.
I'd soothe myself with fantasy's of ways I could get get to care about me, Have me in mind all the time. I couldn't dare to think I wasn't at the forefront of her thinking.

You know, that's exactly where I needed to be back then. Because of my past. My degree of hurt and neglect was borne out by the degree of pain I felt thinking about her. I felt guilty that maybe she meant more to me then my husband and children back then.

I'm fortunate that she knows her stuff and didn't abuse those feelings or not know how to help me with them. But by bit we worked with them.

My needing to believe she cared only about me is a very young child's thinking. There's no right or wrong about that. The only wrong is that those feelings still existed in that form because my needs hadn't been met at the age appropriate time for me.

As painful as it all was, I needed to reexpereince them so as to finally heal those yearnings.

T did that With me, gently and responsibily.

Thsts so much misunderstanding on this forum with this kinda of stuff. Shaming, denial and just plain ignorance at times.

No one feels like they do about someone because their stupid, or a lesser person. It's because they're wounded.

No one in here can bridge that gap. Only a competent professional whose studied attachment, observed mother and babies and know how to meet these needs.

Friends can't meet these needs, family can't meet these needs because they need the insight to respond and not react.

The therapy relationship is like no other because it's here where societies norms get suspended and we can say exactly what we're thinking and feeling and swear and scream and rage and not have to worry about the other person.