I have some major stress going on lately.

My job is guaranteed to end within a couple of years and it could be any day now at the earliest. I have been in the same position a long time getting annual increases most years and make substantially more than my position usually pays, so when the job ends I am probably looking at a period of unemployment then assuming I find something quickly (fortunately, where I am my skills are in demand), I will have a cut in pay.

I have been hemorrhaging cash in recent months; two kids had ER visits and were IP. One of my kids signed up for community college and then withdrew after the refund deadline (another source of stress is that he is on a trajectory that would make him a dependent for the foreseeable future). My wife's van needs new tires. Most of this is going on cards, as was most of Christmas. At my current pay, cards are a buffer and I could pay it down before very long (if expenses slow), but not at lower pay. We have kids about to get full license that need to be insured and we are talking about getting a used car for them.

The good news is that I know where I can get the money. The bad news is that it would be from my retirement account. Another source of stress is that it is becoming obvious that I will need to push my retirement date back because of the likelihood of a lower paying job and having to use some of the retirement funds for other purposes. Also because I may have kids still in the house as dependents longer than I hoped. I am within 5 years of what had been my target date for decades; now I am not sure what the target is, but I know it is more than 5.

My relationship with my wife is nothing close to what I would like. We don't really act like a couple. We don't fight, but we don't do things together, sleep apart and she isn't interested in physical affection and hasn't been for some time. I cannot see this going on indefinitely.

I rarely see my family. My dad is upset with me over a disagreement between his wife and I and currently doesn't really want to keep in touch. He is late 80s.

I don't have a circle of friends right now, except for some distant ones. I need to socialize more and I would prefer to do it with my wife as a couple, but that isn't likely to happen. So I need to figure out some things to get involved in alone. In the past, I was in a woodworking club where I had a few friends and I had a few fishing buddies, but no one in either group that I clicked with enough to really become friends.

So, what's the point of all this other than to get it off my chest? I have been depressed and had a lot of anxiety recently. I am not sure what is a rational response and what might be BP related. I was drinking to escape it up until 7 months ago when I quit, which is a good thing, but it means I have no escape now, not even for a few hours. I am hesitant to ask for medication to relieve stress given my history of abuse. This is not healthy, though. I am probably aging at a high rate right now.