The key is to remember how self-destructive you were during your manic episode. During that time, you literally lose control over your thoughts and your judgement is severely impaired. The risk and what you put your loved ones through is not worth it. If your manic episode resulting in hospitalization was anything like mine, you could have died.

The best thing you can do is to find a solid support system who is there for you. Having those type of relationships is much more satisfying than the out of body experience that results in self-destruction. Although my future leaves me feeling uncertain, let yourself dream and brainstorm where you want to take your future. Lean on your support network for ideas.

What do you want your future to be like? Do you see it tied in art or some other creative endeavor? What's holding you back now?

A book that really helped me better understand how bipolar affected me is here: https://www.amazon.com/Marbles-Depre.../dp/1592407323