Ok so I met with t and it went super well.
We did our usual walk and discussed the situation that happened over the weekend. I told him all about how I perceived that during and after . We discussed what would be helpful. I talked openly with T about the whole thing . T said before he would give me tons of reassurances and comfort because he knew I was too damage to meet those child parts needs myself. But now that he's shown me and ive gotten stronger I need to start doing it for myself. He said and it seems that I don't want to, that I only want it from him, and why would I want to. But we talked about why I need to.

Came back and I showed him my collage . He liked it. We talked more about soothing the child part, and starting to feel empathy and compassion for it. That that is a good next step

Session went very well. I am glad I went. I hope I can stay in this mindset throughout this week.