Richard,

Ack... of course by responding to this, I am putting myself in a position of potential embarassment...

I know that alcohol can affect a man's ability to achieve an adequate erection. I would recommend skipping the alcohol.

As for your other question, this is performance anxiety that you are wondering? I think it really depends on your partner and how much trust is in the relationship. Viagra and Levitra certainly add a dimension to sexual intimacy, allowing for more creativity and definitely more confidence for the man. But think for a moment about what the core of your relationship is. I don't see intercourse as being a necessity to intimacy. There are many other ways to experience physical intimacy. At the risk of offending others, I shall not go into details. But if your partner truly loves you and trusts you, I think that you will discover your own intimate likes and dislikes.

I know there are some women who just want to get pounded like an animal... but honestly, I have always preferred a gentle touch, exploration... finding a way to pleasure my partner. You don't need viagra for that.

My DH takes the viagra or levitra occasionally when we have a long evening and a lot of energy. But our intimacy does not require viagra... it just enhances it, adds spice, so to say. I have never had a problem with his difficulties because I love him for who he is. We kind of see it as a 'treat'... like dining out at a nice restaurant. Not better... just different.

Also, I might add that I was surprised by his difficulties when we first became intimate. I had not encountered that issue in previous relationships. I know that performance anxiety from his previous marriage was an issue. I can't say it didn't bother me at first, but I learned ways to bring him satisfaction and confidence because I loved him. On the nights he had difficulties, I shifted the focus away from his 'performance.' I think the worst thing about pop culture and tv/movies, etc, is that they have you believe that the man has to perform. Sex isn't about performing... it's about giving your partner pleasure. When you place expectations on something, too often you will be disappointed. If your woman really loves you for who you are, I think you will find common ground together.

Does this make any sense or help you understand a little better?

Obsidian