Every time I come across this issue I cant help but hold my breath. My son went through the same exact scenario with the exception that she murdered him in one of her rants. She has tried to use his history of depression and suicide attempts, and say he hung his self. This history of my sons bipolar depression started when he was 10 years old, and i followed him close all his life. I am now pulling every single conversation I have had with my son to prove his state of mind at the time. Towards the end of his life he had decided he was not leaving without his child, and he began to record all her rages, her drunk rages, and how she was treating him. He would never ever hit her back, only because that would cause him problems. He sent me everything he recorded. I gave the investigators 4gigs on a thumb drive. I know it will take sometime, I also know it is so evident there will be an arrest. The latest figures are 1 out of 3 victims are male - out of three that should not be there in the first place it is a male. I am furious, I'm a girl - and I know this should not be about "she" is always the victim, it is the good vs evil. When I joined another group on Facebook, I was astounded to find out of 2500 members, 658 where mothers of sons who had been murdered by their girlfriend or wife. This pendulum has got to move, it just has to. I will always believe had my son started documenting earlier, had even a resource to get to earlier he would be alive today. From my perspective, you have to do these in this order #1 - go to a therapist that can hear you and what you are saying. if they ask the first question on her behalf in defense red flag it, second get up and walk out. remember there are no established resources yet or strong enough. But you desperately need a strong therapist who can navigate with you to end this relationship. #2 - up the documentation to a level she can not touch. 24/7 video, body cam. you want to prove you did not provoke her behavior, and record what you believe the abuse is, which is not predicable enough to pull out the iPhone. #3 seek the advice of an attorney, your goal is to take the kids, and get out. This will have to be an attorney who is also strong, and not willing to give her excuses for her actions. When you are ready to plant your foot firmly on the floor, do it! This is the best I can tell you. My son was murdered July 3 2017. And as I sit here writing this post my nephew is going through the very same thing. It just astounds me.