i hate that a disclosure is such a huge deal for me and just..... work for you. like, you've probably heard variations of it a thousand times before, but this is the first (and maybe only) time i've said it out loud, and you are the only person i've said it to.

and you would have put it aside as soon as i walked out the door, while i'm still a wreck, hours later. all these horrible emotions and memories stirred up. feeling vulnerable and exposed and just left alone with it all.

i hate this part. the 'after'. sometimes it feels too much like then.